The People Inside Me - Part I
My dreams have been an amazing source of growth for the past few years. They’ve guided me to leave my old job, start a new dream interpretation business, address health concerns, and do therapy for trauma. Now they’re taking me on a fascinating journey to reintegrate parts of myself I have buried.
If you have trauma in your past, you may find this information resonates with you and brings up some new possibilities to consider. Please feel free to contact me to see if I can help.
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:
Two nights ago, I met a little girl in my dreams. She was skipping down a hallway in a sweet little dress… smiling — and then destroying everything in her path out of pure rage. Here’s the thing: that little girl… is me.
She’s an aspect of me — like a fractal of my soul — frozen at age four after sexual abuse. And she’s not the only one. I’ve now identified five distinct personas appearing in my dreams. Does that remind you of anything?
It sounds like Multiple Personality Disorder — now called Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID — made famous in the book and movie Sybil. I thought that too at first, and it freaked me out. But it’s not DID. It’s something called Structural Dissociation, described in the book The Haunted Self.
STRUCTURAL DISSOCIATION
Structural Dissociation is a post-traumatic state far less severe than full-blown DID, and surprisingly common in trauma survivors. In it, you have one main personality — called the ANP, or Apparently Normal Part — and one or more EPs, Emotional Parts, that hold the trauma.
In my case, these EPs don’t “take over” in daily life. They’re fragments of me, locked away at the time of the trauma and buried for decades. That kept me functioning — but here’s the catch:
When you bury trauma, you also bury parts of your emotional self.
That means you can lose access to joy, passion, healthy anger, even your sense of connection. If you’ve ever felt flat, numb, or “off,” like something is missing — you may have buried parts of yourself. The good news? They can be recovered.
WHY ARE THEY SHOWING UP NOW?
For me, two things opened the door to these unknown parts of myself.
First — I went through a therapy called Cutting the Ties. I worked to bring up trauma from sexual abuse with the goal of reconnecting with the femininity I’d suppressed. It worked — and a teenage girl started appearing in my dreams. With her emergence, other characters began to arrive too.
Second — I’m a dream interpreter. Because I track my dreams closely, I recognized that these characters weren’t typical archetypes. Channeling on these dreams helped me figure out what they represented. They are distinctive, recurring characters, each tied to a different trauma. These are my EPs. And my dreams became the meeting place for all of them.
HOW MANY EPs DO I HAVE?
So far, five:
Sabrina Ray – my teenage feminine: emotional, sensitive. Named after my high-school pen name.
The Barefoot Boy – my young masculine: hyper-intellectual, OCD perfectionist, always trying to get it right.
The Wounded Warrior – my older, battle-weary masculine.
The Wise Woman – an older feminine with all the secrets; she always appears in disguise.
And now… the fierce little girl with the word “SHAME” tattooed on her leg.
HOW DO THE EPs APPEAR IN DREAMS?
These buried parts show up like characters in an ongoing story.
For example, in one dream, a teenage girl brought home her boyfriend — but her mother didn’t approve and used witchy powers to get him falsely arrested.
In dream interpretation this was Sabrina Ray trying to integrate the Barefoot Boy — but the Wise Woman was resisting.
It’s been fascinating to watch, through my dreams, as these dramas play out. The dreams show me where each EP is on their journey to integration, which guides my meditations and inner work.
WHERE I’M AT NOW
My work now is integration — inviting these parts back into my conscious self so I can be whole, feel all the feels, experience life more vividly, and unite my masculine and feminine.
It’s not about erasing them — it’s about healing them, giving them safe new roles, and reclaiming the life force they’ve been guarding.
If you want to follow along — to meet each of these parts and see how I integrate them — stay with me. This is going to be a wild and deeply human journey.
And remember: to live your best life… follow your dreams.
